Mint Green Lookbook

A woman in harmony with her spirit...

“A Woman in harmony with her spirit

is like a river flowing.

She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination

prepared to be herself

and only herself ”

- Maya Angelou

I had the pleasure of watching a conversation between authors, Zadie Smith and Chimamanda Adichie, yesterday. A friend, who knows me so well, literally called me to tell me to get onto my laptop and watch the live-stream. The Zimbabwean internet gods were smiling upon me and I listened with no interruptions or hiccups :)

Towards the end, audience members submitted questions. One of the questions came from a 25 year old woman who described being on the verge of a quarter life crisis and asked Adichie how she had discovered her purpose and what advice she would give to help someone else discover theirs. Adichie said at 25, she never thought in those terms and how that puts too much pressure on us, as individuals. Essentially she said, "Life is short, just live and follow your heart." Smith then jumped in to say how people who have found what they love don't necessarily recognise that that is a gift. Many people out there do not know or have not found what it is that they love so they are in constant pursuit and wondering about it. 

I agree with both Adichie and Smith. There is this preoccupation with finding purpose which I think many people go about in the wrong way. It is not a science. I believe "finding your purpose", is a much more organic process. It's like falling in love in the sense that, you don't have to think too much or analyse it. You just know - it becomes so evident and the dots connect. 

To me, purpose can manifest itself in many different forms and you can grow/evolve in that purpose. It's not tied to one specific job title, industry, field, or place.  Be in tune with yourself: what are your values, what do you care about, what makes you happy. 

"That Good Hair" #ABH

I realized that a lot of my discomfort with natural hair stemmed from standards of beauty and stereotypes. We live in a world that celebrates light skin, long hair, small noses, long legs, clear skin, small waists and so on. The mainstream images of women who are supposed to be successful, beautiful, sexy or talented rarely include black women, and even more rarely include black women with natural hair. I would love to say that I did not care if people thought I was beautiful or not, but that would be a lie. Part of me was worried about what would happen as I moved even further from what was considered “beautiful.” I wondered if people [guys] would still find me attractive. 

On top of that, I had heard it all when it came to stereotypes about women with natural hair. Black power radical type. Vegetarian. Writes Poetry. Obsessed with “the motherland.” Plays the guitar and so on. People judge us and make all sorts of assumptions based strictly on our appearance. I reasoned that I did not want people to get the wrong impression about who I was or what I was into. But after a little more introspection, I had to admit people were already making assumptions. I mean, my nickname was Glam Girl. So in reality, I was comfortable with the more glamorous and “cool” assumptions but not necessarily these other ones that were associated with natural hair.

 This is an excerpt from my latest Anything But Him post. You can read the full post here :) 

Nature is free for all of us

Zimbabwe has given me a new appreciation for how God works through nature. I literally find myself stopping and talking about how beautiful one sight or the other is. Just walking around and taking it all in has a very calming effect.  

Transitioning to being here has been just as hard (if not harder) as  I imagined it would be. The biggest thing I am learning is to slow down. To literally take one step at a time and not to dwell on things too much. It is keeping me on my toes and I like that.  

You cannot own a human being

You can't own a human being. 

You can't lose what you don't own.

 Suppose you did own him.

 Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? 

You really want somebody like that? 

Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? 

You don't, do you? 

And neither does he.

 You're turning over your whole life to him. 

Your whole life, girl. 

And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him?

 He can't value you more than you value yourself. 

- Toni Morrison

Lupita Lupita

I am so happy for Lupita Nyong'o. I don't think I can say that enough. I have said a lot about her over the past few months. I was drawn to her energy and her passion for her craft. I'm not over it yet.